I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
