Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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