i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
