I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize