Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
