xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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