how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
