Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
did you just send me my own nude
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
