i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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