people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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