Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
