DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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