you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
