i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
