dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
