We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
