you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just threw up on my dentist
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
