about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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