She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
