no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
