So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize