I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
