I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
