Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
