Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
dude. I can hear the air.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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