It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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