My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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