I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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