OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize