Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
