If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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