Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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