you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
