i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
