making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
