I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
