IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
