drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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