when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
