i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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