i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
