Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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