i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
