i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
