thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
