batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
