It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
