so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
