Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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