yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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