I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My pussy is not your playground.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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