I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
