There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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