Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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