So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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