Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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