And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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